03 March 2012

Trust Your Heart

It’s ok to trust your heart
Words. ( Explored ) by Rebeca Cygnus
Words. ( Explored ), originally uploaded by Rebeca Cygnus-
None of us needs instruction in how to recognize what your heart is saying. We do need guidance, however, on how to have the courage to follow those feelings, since they will force us to change our lives in any case.

But consider the consequences of not listening to the heart’s guidance: depression, confusion, and the wretched feeling that we are not on our life’s true path, but viewing it from a distance.
Caroline Myss

Sometimes I come across something I read or a song I hear and at that moment in my life I feel like it was written just for me...today it was this.  Some who read this know some of the details of my life, others who read this will not.  But regardless I want to share because like me, someone might stumble across it right at the very moment they need to.


14 December 2011

Photographing December

Day 5
{i'll sneak in a cuddle with this little man any chance i can get}

Day 6
Starbucks Coffee Cup

Day 7
Favorite Ornament
{my son's first ornament given to him by a family member, i smile every year hanging it because of what it represents}

Day 8
Free Day:
{brrr...some big alaskan icicles}

Day 9
Christmas Light-Lookin'
{town square in eagle river, ak}

Day 10
{any guesses on what the little man is getting for christmas?}

Day 11
Kissing Under Mistletoe
{last year at the denver, co zoo}

Day 12
This is so much more than just a picture of boots as these boots have only been back in the house for a day! Happily I can say my husband is now home from deployment.  We did it! And to be by the Christmas tree just makes it all that much more important.  Of all the important events, milestones and holidays having missed our soldier with a happy heart I can say that Christmas is still not one of them.  The only thing that could be better than having our soldier home for Christmas would be to have all the men and women of the armed forces home with their loved ones this year...


07 December 2011

Honoring December 7th

It's one of those things...for a while its very fresh and very important to everyone. Then it dies down and it seems like so many forget, but the reminders keep coming back.  Its been 70 years since the attack at Pearl Harbor and September marked 10 years for the attack on New York City and Washington, D.C.
"fears of Japanese saboteurs in the USA were "greatly exaggerated and led to one of the most egregious violations of civil liberties in our history."..."in the wake of 9/11, with similar fears of domestic terrorism, we have a new appreciation of the difficulty of balancing legitimate security interests with unfounded fears."

My husband deployed for the first time a few short years after 9/11 when the war began, then again in 2006. At the time there were still so many flags, banners, yellow ribbons and awareness of the war and support for the troops.  He made it home safely and we began our "real" life and our family to continue for the three years to follow his return.  He worked a "safe" job, with his unit being meddac. I say "safe" because for us, or me anyway, it was easy to forget what was still happening.  The war was still going on, but pushed to the back of my mind most days.  Quite a few of the guys he had been deployed with the first two times had gone to Afghanistan...and then one day it hit me like a slap in the face.  My husband got a phone call that something had happened and a few of those "brothers" we're in rough shape. Just because its not my soldier doesn't mean its not someone else's.Again, in 2010, another call that resulted in my husband escorting a fallen brother to Arlington National    Cemetery and assisting in laying him to rest.  It is always so much a reminder that the war is still very much alive and so many were still fighting back against what had happened that September day.

"9/11 pushed us further down a road we'd been on, as an international superpower, ever since Pearl Harbor."

As I drove to work this morning, I saw many flags at half-mast and I was reminded that every year on this day we still remember what happened at Pearl Harbor in 1941. It seems that so often and so easily that once the initial shock is gone and the waving flags can only be seen on certain days of remembrance. Same is true for the disappearance of the yellow ribbons on the trees and the magnets on the vehicles the longer this war goes on.

Support the troops is an action, not a slogan...An action that should still be seen more often. As another deployment comes to an end for my family I'm thankful to have my soldier returning home to us safely.  I also burst with pride at the newest "notch on his belt" that is the successful completion of his third deployment and the sacrifices he's made along the way.

In 2008, this soldier and I visited Hawaii with Pearl Harbor and the USS Arizona Memorial at the top of our to-do list.  Even almost seventy years later, and I'm sure still to this day, the memorial is a somber place.  Majority of the people there are very respectful and I spent my time there in awe.  Just as we will never forget what happened on December 7, 1941 we will never forget what happened on September 11, 2001. It's just one of those things...

For me, I can also tell you the exact day that I had my husband in my arms again after so many very long months when he returned home the last time...and I don't see this time being any different.  Remembrance, just like celebrating every year the day someone was born, isn't only about remembering times of sorrow but also of times we're overjoyed and filled with pride.  May we always remember, some gave all and all gave some...and some still continue to.

I'll be back tomorrow with today's Photographing December...


04 December 2011

PhOtOgRaPhInG dEcEmBeR

Today i came across this wonderful little read of a blog by Julianna Morlet and found her Photographing December List:

i do think i’ll join in.  Aiden is feeling better, he’s napping and i’m taking advantage.

it seems like i always come across things like this way after the fact, but this time i’m not that far behind. i know i can catch upbut can i keep up? We’ll see

Days: 1::2::3
Setting Up Christmas
{Picking out the perfect tree}

A Nativity Scene

{This scarf was a Christmas present last year from one of the best friends a girl could ask for & i still love it}

Day 4
Your Christmas Tree


02 December 2011

Roller Derby, Hockey and Golf...Oh My!

Is this what its come to?  A sick, sleepy little child to get me to slow down enough to sit and write a post? Its rare anymore that Aiden naps when he's home with me. I’m not quite sure yet what nasty little bug has invaded the little man, but it is just that. Nasty. And this comes after I was laid up earlier this week from falling at work. Yep, just like on the cartoons when they slip on a banana peel and both feet come up and they land right on their butt! It's always said that "bad" or unfortunate things happen in three's...well I'm thinking getting my car stuck in a ditch in the snow, the fall and now this, puts me at my limit! Not to mention these are just the major things I've dealt with lately...not to mention the rest. Ever heard the saying "Hug a Military Wife...or Buy Her Alcohol"? Well...it seems extremely fitting right now! I'll gladly take either one! Things haven't been all crap-tastic lately though, we've had some fun too!

I got out one night with some friends to a women's roller derby.  I had never been to one and it was an experience! I didnt completely understand the scoring system either, but it was fun.  The company I work for is one of the sponsors and we had a table right at the edge of the rink. 

{two of my co-workers and very good friends here...the other took the pic}

A couple times my boss has given me some Alaska Aces hockey tickets and I decided that I'd try to take Aiden to a game.  I used to love hockey, still do enjoy watching it very much but Adam's not a fan.  So I wasn't sure what Aiden was going to think, but I went knowing that if it was a total disaster we would just leave and maybe try again some other time.  At first he didn't know what to think about all the noise when a goal was scored, but then he got the hang of what was going on and would throw his hands up like everyone else! It made me happy to see him enjoy it as much as I do. We sat right on the glass and he stood most of the time so he could see the action, he was great about backing up when he thought they'd hit the glass.  He had so much fun...two periods were plenty for him though.  The third was just too much so we did leave early, but he's been talking about it and asking to go back to another game ever since.

 {i'm not sure what was going on, but clearly aiden and boomer are on the same page!}

{celebrating an aces goal}

There's a new place in town called Putters Wild, which is an indoor 3D blacklight mini golf place! So.Much.Fun. We got a coupon at the last Aces game we went to and I knew we'd have to go try it out. All 18 holes was a bit much for Aiden, but we will be going back.  Golfing with an orange or a red ball makes it so much more challenging since the ball looks like its about an inch off the ground! Aiden wasn't a big fan of wearing his 3D glasses, but after stumbling around on the first few holes it was probably safer that way anyway!

Hopefully we’ll be back to 100% health and having fun again, just in time for our soldier to be home.  We couldn’t ask for much more this Christmas than to be together as a family.  I’m certain God will not give me more than I can handle…although sometimes I question why he thinks I can handle all that I do?! Everyday, even the less than ideal ones, are a gift and not a given.  Happy Holidays :)


13 November 2011


In our home, we believe in God. In our home, it goes a little like this...

"I've been to church
 I've read the book
 I know he's here
 But I don't look
 Near as often as I should
 Yeah, I know I should
 His fingerprints are everywhere"

God is capable of the most amazing and unimaginable things so how is it that he allows evil to bring destruction and loss into our lives? Why does he not protect us from all evil acts?  I pray often, but I do it privately which sometimes leads me to wonder "Am I doing this right? It doesn't seem like its working!"  Then I remind myself that sometimes the unanswered prayers are just as important as the answered ones.  Can it be that in the midst of something evil goodness fights to prevail? Is it really possible that something evil can end up being good?

I've read that "God uses Satan to refine the faithful. We all have the devil's disease."  Many times when we are hurt or offended, we find ourselves categorizing those who have made us feel that way as "indebted" to us. Shouldn't that person owe me something, like an apology? Or an explanation? To deal with these debts is often at the heart of your own happiness. I've also read that "the issue is not the existence of the pain; the issue is the treatment of the pain." 

Settling the score, or getting even, doesn't even bring happiness. It often brings more pain.  No matter how justified you may feel in your quest for vengeance, you may never feel your debts are paid.  So then how is it possible that something good could come from all this evil?  Possibly its these difficulties, conflicts and evil diseases that are voices of encouragement.  If God brings it to us, he also brings us through it and its said that he will never give us more than we can handle. So this is where I am lately, searching for the sunshine through the storm clouds.  Focusing on what good may come instead of playing the lonely bounty hunter out trying to settle debts.

"Jesus does not question the reality of your wounds.
He does not doubt that you have been sinned against.
The issue is not the existence of the pain;
The issue is the treatment of the pain."

{A friend introduced me to this place last month and even just looking at the pictures I took there that day, I stop and take a deep breath}

Happy Sunday! May you find joy and inspiration in something or someone today!


08 November 2011

Its beginning to look a lot like...

Fall? No, Winter? Already?
Yes! Snow started showing up on the mountains in September around here and before I knew it I was out clearing the driveway of the fluffy white stuff! Welcome to fall in Alaska!
{October 26}

When I posted the picture above on facebook, a friend responded with "Snow on pumpkins, its just not right!" and for anyone who has never lived in a place like this, it just does not seem right! It shouldn't happen! This will be our second winter here and I am still adjusting. To me fall means, warm sunshine during the day and cool weather at night.  Windows open, hoodies, bonfires, the pumpkin patch and crunchy leaves.  This year I've been wearing hoodies throughout the year, we had to go to the Fall Fest and "pumpkin patch" in September, the windows have been closed up since labor day and the trees were bare by mid-Ocotber with snow to soon cover all the leaves that had fallen.
Growing up in a place where we only "visited" snow from time to time, I do not know the excitement of being a child and wanting to go out and play in the snow.  But that doesn't mean I want to deny my child of that now.  Even thought he sometimes doesn't want to be out long, to me its worth the time it takes to get all bundled up just to get him out in the fresh air exploring for a little while. Alaska really can be a miserable place if you choose to stay trapped in the house just because of the snow, and that's not what I want for my family.  I know its going to be a loooong winter, but I refuse to make it seem any longer that it will already be. 
{October 30}

So, this is where we are...a little buried, but still alive! Right now as I type, the sun is high over the mountains making the snow sparkle and coming in the windows creating a few shadows and for that I'm smiling. I am home with my son today and we may just go out and explore in the snow for a while today.  Why not have a reason to come in and need warmed up with a cup of hot chocolate!
 {November 8}
And, as always, I'm not just being buried by the snow...Aiden, my job, and a new endeavor are all keeping me really busy! And I have also taken a couple nights for my self recently and gone out with friends.  One night to a hockey game and another night to a women's roller derby!  We are still trying to stay busy as redeployment approaches, which will of course also be another busy time as we focus on reuniting our little family!